So, it’s difficult to describe my job in one line. or in 5 minutes. It’s quite complicated. Like being a fence for stolen paintings. Or a seller of pornographic DVDs. You can say that you are an art dealer or in the movie business – but you aren’t really.

This Navaratri, I was visiting a cousin’s house, and her 7-year old daughter asked me what I do for a living.

“Erm… I – I work with a small company that trains people.”

“Trains them to do what?”

“Trains them to take various exams.”

“Oh, so you are a tuition teacher?”

“No, no! Tuitions are for school exams – we train them for mental ability tests.”

Her eyes grew rounder, “Mental tests? Like in mental hospitals?”

“No, no” I was getting desperate, “Mental ability tests are like puzzles.”

She looked highly suspicious – why would anyone go for tuitions to solve puzzles?

“So do you teach them to solve puzzles?”

“No, I don’t teach. I sort of manage the classes.”

“So what do you actually do?” she persisted.

I was sweating by now. Thankfully, her mother came back at the time and interjected, “She is sort of like your school Principal. She manages classes and students.”

“Yes, yes” I seized the lifeline, “I am sort of like the Principal.”

Needless to say, she avoids me like the plague now.

I suspect I will soon join the ranks of Barney Stinson or George Wingrave (from Three Men in a Boat).


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