So, it’s difficult to describe my job in one line. or in 5 minutes. It’s quite complicated. Like being a fence for stolen paintings. Or a seller of pornographic DVDs. You can say that you are an art dealer or in the movie business – but you aren’t really.
This Navaratri, I was visiting a cousin’s house, and her 7-year old daughter asked me what I do for a living.
“Erm… I – I work with a small company that trains people.”
“Trains them to do what?”
“Trains them to take various exams.”
“Oh, so you are a tuition teacher?”
“No, no! Tuitions are for school exams – we train them for mental ability tests.”
Her eyes grew rounder, “Mental tests? Like in mental hospitals?”
“No, no” I was getting desperate, “Mental ability tests are like puzzles.”
She looked highly suspicious – why would anyone go for tuitions to solve puzzles?
“So do you teach them to solve puzzles?”
“No, I don’t teach. I sort of manage the classes.”
“So what do you actually do?” she persisted.
I was sweating by now. Thankfully, her mother came back at the time and interjected, “She is sort of like your school Principal. She manages classes and students.”
“Yes, yes” I seized the lifeline, “I am sort of like the Principal.”
Needless to say, she avoids me like the plague now.
I suspect I will soon join the ranks of Barney Stinson or George Wingrave (from Three Men in a Boat).