Excuses, excuses!

So I leave a to-do list for SR this morning. Most of the items on it have been pending for ages, and I threaten him with tight spots, hot water, fire & brimstone, so on and so forth before I leave for work. When he comes to pick me up in the evening, he makes no attempt to ingratiate himself. I assume that the most of the work has been accomplished.

“Did you give the clothes for ironing?”

“No – I wasn’t sure if one of your tops should be ironed. So I thought I’d check with you before giving it.”

“You could have given the rest of the clothes – we have hundreds of them piled up!”

“I don’t want to make multiple trips there.”

“Why didn’t you just call me and check?”

“Because I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“Huh! So did you call the carpenter?”

“Yes, but he didn’t answer the phone.”

“Well, did you leave a message asking him to call back?”

“No. I don’t think he can read or write.”

“Ok-aaay! What about the electrician?”

“I don’t think he can read or write either.”

“No – did you call him?”

“Yes. He’ll come over.”

“When?”

“On Sunday, after he goes to church.”

“Church? I thought the electrician’s name was Krishnan!”

“It is. Don’t be so narrow-minded.”

“Whaaa…? “

“What does it matter what his name is? This is supposed to be a secular country – he can call himself whatever he wants and worship any god he likes. Neither you nor the government has any right to dictate terms-“

“Okay, okay! Let him go to church. <whew!> Did you pack away the golu bommais? I don’t want them getting dusty or broken.”

“Today is Tuesday – it’s not auspicious to pack away idols of deities on Tuesdays.”

“What a load of tosh! Says who?”

“Your mom.”

“Erm, okay. Did you at least pay the phone bill?”

“No point. We are 2 months overdue. They’ve disconnected the line.”

“And you are just sitting there?”

“What do you expect me to do?”

“Go over there and get it fixed!”

“Go over where?”

“I don’t know! The BSNL office?”

“And where would that be?”

“You are the husband – you figure it out!”

“Sure, I will. Eventually.”

“!!!”

“But I did get the cable fixed.”

“Our cable had problems? What was wrong with it?”

“There was an audio lag on Star Sports – it was really screwing up the match telecast.”

“Awesome. That was the most important thing on my list – I would have killed you if you hadn’t done that.”

“Thanks love.”

*

I am assuming that spending 8 hours a day to think of excuses to not do things must be exhausting. Clearly, it impairs your ability to appreciate sarcasm.

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