The Year of the Butterfly?

If I were not human, I would have been a butterfly.

No – I’m not saying that I want to be a butterfly – I’m saying that I am a butterfly.

And no again – it’s not because I consider myself lithe or pretty or even particularly joyful. It’s because I flit. I move from one thing to another to yet another. You would not catch my mind staying still in one spot.

butterfly-flying-01
Source: fumozar.com

That sounds poetic – but here are the side effects –

  1. My to-do list is a few miles long
  2. I have 3 editorial assignments with looming deadlines that are not yet touched
  3. I have committed to many projects at work that have taken the backseat – of a bus, no less!
  4. Everywhere I look, I can only see half-finished projects: the photo wall I wanted to create; the half-finished story; the incomplete painting, the clothes that need to be sorted and kept back in the cupboards, the dust that lines the top of my fridge, the call that I am yet to return; the swimming classes that were abandoned; the Kannada and Theater classes that were never even started

It gets frustrating sometimes – this feeling of being a hamster on a wheel – this feeling that I need to keep pedaling until I drop, and still, there would be things left undone.

SR advises me to drop it. To relax. He says I must be thankful that I have so much to do – that means there’s a lot of purpose to life. But I don’t find it easy. I am someone who badly needs a feeling of closure. The satisfactory thud of the closing a thick book or file and putting it aside. Done and dusted.

So, this Vijayadasami, I want to make a promise to myself:

To NOT be a butterfly. To sit and savor the task at hand and not move on until I am finished.

And if that doesn’t work, then to enjoy the flitting and not write a “crib” post like this one. 🙂

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2 thoughts on “The Year of the Butterfly?

  1. Ha ha! Loved the post and can relate to it. The only difference that I feel is that I look ponder over what’s left to do. I just move on 🙂
    Wish we had more hours and so much more free time to do all that we wanted and travel and workout and sleep and take up hobbies and also earn a living. 😀 Sounds ambitious, huh?

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