SR and I had made grand plans of sitting on the terrace on New Year’s eve, watching the fireworks light up the sky. We intended to begin 2015 by waking up early, working out, making scrumptious food and getting started on all the projects we have at hand. The New Year has been here for 15 hours so far, and here’s what we have done:
- Missed the fireworks last night because we fell asleep early
- Woke up late (as usual) and immediately felt cranky & depressed because 6AM on 1st Jan 2015 was now a distant & hazy memory
- Watched ‘The Holiday’ for the umpteenth time (at least, I did, while SR argued politics with random people on Facebook)
- Boiled vegetables for Buttons and tried to get him to eat them. (he did not)
- Considered showering & getting dressed up in order to feel fresh; then decided not to since I wasn’t going out anyway.
Need I continue?
When I was making my list of resolutions for the New Year, SR had warned me that it would all come to naught. He is not a list-maker. “You have to want to do stuff… not just keep buying new diaries and making lists in different colored inks.”
I know you don’t need lists to get things done. I know promises for change can be made any time during the year, not necessarily on New Year’s. But what the new year offers is the hope that you have a new beginning in front of you. Another chance to start again, to explore new things and change the course of life.
It’s mere symbolism, I agree. But it works for me.
When I scroll up and read what I have “accomplished” in the first 15 hours of 2015, I don’t feel depressed. I don’t think I have failed already. Because I am sitting here in front of my laptop penning a blog post on the 1st day of a new year. I am thinking ahead of the possibilities and plans I have for this year and imagining the exciting things in store for me. And I am glad for that – I may not be knocking things off my list, but I am doing things that matter!
I want to put down my goals for 2015 out here – I want to see them written. In the days and weeks to come, I want to read them over and over again, and strike them off one by one. And on another day, a year from now, I want to write another post that is hopefully happy, triumphant and self-congratulatory. 🙂
So, here goes the list:
- Write: Whenever I am asked to describe myself, I say without qualms that I am a writer. But when I look back at 2014 and ask myself, how much have I written, the answer is “Not enough.” 10 personal blog posts and 3 short stories. That’s all. The good part is that I just re-read the posts and the stories, and I didn’t think any of them was ridiculous or terrible. I’ve always believed that you cannot “become” a writer – you are either a writer or you are not. In 2015, I want to live up to this image I have of myself. By writing a lot lot more frequently. Not for anyone else, but for myself.
- Get off my ass: I want to shake things up in 2015 – for quite some time now, I have been in my comfort zone. “Take control, show action” is a piece of writing advice that I give all my clients – in 2015, I want to do that myself. I have a long list of things I’ve wanted to try out, but never got around to doing. This year, I want to stop procrastinating or over-analyzing, and just get out there and do them!
- Relax: A lot of people have told me that I seem to have everything under control. I appear to be someone who is on top of things. But I tell you – conscientiousness is a curse in my case! I worry about things and cannot stop bringing work home. The boundaries between “excellence” and “perfection” fade in my case and I end up nervous and stressed-out and ill. If I have learned one thing this past year, it is that my work-life balance depends more on my own attitude and ability to manage my time and work, than on the policies of the organization I work for or the nature of my boss or colleagues. In the coming year, I’d like to manage my projects better, be happier with my lot, and actually enjoy the things I do, irrespective of whether I have everything under control.
- Get fit: I am a ‘fads’ person – one week, I am super-committed to healthy eating and feed SR ragi and flax seed and stop him from eating chips; the next week, I am PMSing or stressed out at work and throw the rules to the winds, gorging on chips and Kurkure myself. Sometimes it is Rujuta Diwekar. At others, it is Leo Babuta or a random Chicken Soup author who catches my fancy. This year, I don’t want to keep sliding the baseline. The baseline is that I am 10kgs overweight and totally unfit for anything more than climbing 3 dozen stairs, and therefore, I want to get back in shape. Period (Pun intended. Boy, am I clever!)
That’s it – those are my goals or 2015. Last year, I wanted to travel more, paint more, read more… this year, I am not spelling anything out. I am not breaking up my goals into SMART mini-goals. I don’t have to – as SR said, these goals are in my mind. I really want to achieve them.
So, here’s raising a toast to a brand new year – may this be the best year yet!