The Agony and the Ecstasy

The Agony and the Ecstasy

Search for ‘Innale mayangumbol’ on Google, and this is the first result that comes up. The song from the movie Anueshichu Kandethiyilla in the golden voice of Yesudas. It has 238,790 views as of today and 462 Likes. Certainly well-deserved, and I would have given it a thumbs up too if I hadn’t come across this by accident: the original song sung by the music director himself, MS Baburaj.

This little-known video has a grand total of 484 views and 3 Likes. But it has been haunting me since the day I heard it first.

The story of MS Baburaj has always fascinated me. His rise from an orphan singer in trains to a musical stalwart, his colourful personality, the music that flowed down the streets of Kozhikode, the days as a wedding singer to eke out a living, the friend circles that he chaired initially and which eventually spurned him…for anyone interested, you can piece together his story from here and here.

I have loved his songs for as long as I can remember, but hearing him in his own voice left me speechless. His voice is not golden or flawless. It is crude and unfettered. It is like honey with grains of sand in it. There is sweetness and gentleness, but there’s also a roughness that leaves scratches on your heart.

In this song, when he sings “Omane, neeyente arikil vannu…“, when he says omane, I become his beloved. I hear the man behind the words in the way he pronounces certain words, in the way he lets the naked emotion show as he sings… MS Baburaj has put his soul into every song he’s ever composed – I think that is what is making the difference. When he sings, you hear his pain and his love and his want.

Each time I listen to his voice, I am left drenched and shaken. Compared to this, the sheer perfection of Yesudas’ voice is too much for me.

Just this once, I tell myself, I want something less than perfect.

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